Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML-a post on Fmylife.com

The comma in the first sentence after home is unecessary.

Why were they resorting to cannibalism?

Not the message they were going for.

Compared to dead children?

Very big difference. How did they mix up robbery and murder?

Inappropriate wording.

Unnecessary information.

Do Europeans not have human hair as well?

Bad naming for the obituary section.

Again when insulting people it's best to have correct grammar.

Is it for men or women?

Someone didn't go back and edit their work.

Toilet paper doesn't need to be plural.

I think they meant meter not mile.

This makes no sense. Some important detail is missing from this story.

I didn't know turkey franks spoke at all let alone more than one language.

Bad placing for this advertisement

Wrong word. I don't think they meant to be sending men.

It's you are not there. You're not your.

If you're gong to insult someone else's grammar you should probably make sure you have yours correct first.